Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize