official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
