we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize