apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Couch. On fire.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
