Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
