just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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