Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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