just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
