Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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