My friends, they love my intelligence
i just google imaged poop.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
