He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
