did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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