Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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