So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
