shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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