ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
