my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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