I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
