why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize