big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
