uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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