Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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