come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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