Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
