Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
