Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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