everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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