And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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