Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
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just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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