All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
As shirtless as possible
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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