That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
