I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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