Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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