I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
