i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My penis needs a shock collar
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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