On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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