I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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