You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
