I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
