So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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