everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
