watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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