i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
