remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
they're like a gay fantastic four
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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