the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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