And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
