That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
