I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
