i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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