i just google imaged poop.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
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She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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