I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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