you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
