never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
