I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You can't motorboat a personality
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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