I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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