Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think people are normalizing furries
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
