I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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