someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
did you just send me my own nude
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
