I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize