You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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