I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
