I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
